Last time you asked the "What cuts you the deepest?" A question I posted on my wall that bounced back to me. I can't exactly answer it.. cos I believe every "firsts" cut everyone of us.. deep. I answered "Longing for someone you can't ever have." Well I think it's right. Because I feel that this cut you made is so deep, I don't know how or when it will heal.
I could have loved you more..
I could have cared a lot about your private life.. everything about you..
I could have shared more.. my time.. emotion.. effort..
I could have showed you more of me..
It's done. You said goodbye. It's sad I wasn't able to jump over the wall that you created. It's sad that you were not ready to open your doors. It's sad that the path I thought we were walking along together was just a figment of my imagination. Maybe I expected too much. I cling to the wrong signals you showed me. I thought the feelings were true.. but they're not.
What cuts me the deepest?
My longing for you. Your weakness and strengths.. your joys and sorrows..
Your dreams and frustrations.. Your body and soul..
I long to embrace every bit of you.. that I can't ever have.
-B
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